OP the Movie: The Hell Verse- Chapter VII

Ch. 7- Mindf*cks Ahoy

Luffy began climbing up the stairs. "Let's begin to climb out of this joint, shall we?  I'm getting REALLY tired of this Chiro guy."

Sanj replied, "Well while you were busy wondering around, I was in the crystal world.  It was... trippy."

Robin asked a rhetorical question: "How would you react if I were to be on a task, and I'd be taking longer than usual?"

Zoro shrugged. "Eh. You can handle yourself."

"In stories involving shipping, you would be unreasonably worried." Robin said.

"Good thing we aren't IN those freaking stories, then." Zoro said in relief. "I mean could you imagine having to be romantically paired up with people the fans suggested?"

"It's like we don't even get to CHOOSE who our lover would be!" Nami agreed. "Nope, the fans run everything, apparently! And when we DARE admit that we don't care for each other, they think they see the word deny.  How ignorant could you GET?!"

"It's not denying feelings for each other, it's admitting that we don't have feelings for each other." Robin said.

"Let's not focus on that right now." Usopp said. "I mean, why do you even care?"

(A/N: Because OTP's are bullshit. Sexual tension, on the other hand...)

Zoro and Nami glanced at each other. "...Let's just get a move on."

As they walked up the stairs, Usopp asked Luffy, "Uh... what's going on between those two?"

"They're probably developing urges." Luffy answered. "What would I care?"

As the Straw Hats got higher and higher, the architecture began to change from the old rustic look below: walls began to have more metal on them, lights began flashing on and off, the stairs began being revealed as metallic and cold, and incredibly badass techno music began playing that would pump the Straw Hats up.

(A/N: In fact, here's the f*cking song: www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2-6GF…)

(BGM: Core, from Undertale OST)

"Damn, this song is good!" Sanji said. "Seriously, not even the AUTHOR could keep it hidden!"

"Does this mean that shit's going down?" Zoro asked. "I REALLY hope it does!"

At the top, Psycho Mantis (of Metal Gear Solid fame) floated at the top, mocking the pirates. "Well... if I had known that you guys were coming, I would have packed some references..."

"QUICK!!" Franky yelled. "PLUG THE CONTROLLER IN THE SECOND PORT!!"

(A/N: Well?  Do it!)

"AUGH!!" Luffy punched out Psycho Mantis. "HAVE A LOVELY DAY!!"

The Marines were now freaking out. "AH SHIT!!  WE NEED AN OBLIGATORY BLAND VICE ADMIRAL, STAT!!"

"Oh my, did someone call for me?"

A tall, and effeminate, Vice Admiral man strolled from the upstairs, wearing a fabulous custom-made coat. "Now, did you boys require a bland.. droll shell of a man who spends too much time upholding Absolute Justice... or do you need moi~?"

"VICE ADMIRAL CHAPERE, WE LEAVE THIS TO YOU!!" The Marine mooks bolted.

When Luffy reached the top, he slowed to a stop. "Hey, rhyming."

"Perfect timing~!"

Luffy stepped back. "Woah... I'm not sure if I'm ready for you yet... eh..."

"It's Chapere~!" Chapere winked at Luffy. "And aren't YOU a stud~?"

When Sanji reached the top, he immediately did a double-take. "Oh God... think I'm gonna... hurl..."

Nami and Usopp soon caught up. "Okay, what's going on again?"

Luffy replied, "Apparently, there's an actually interesting Vice Admiral for once."

"Oh, how flattering this is~!" Chapere replied.  He turned to Usopp. "But wait: deep inside, you still have mommy and daddy issues~!"

Usopp suddenly got defensive. "Okay, what the hell!  YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED!!"

Chapere lied down fabulously. "Alas... your mother died of a sickness, and your father left out on you when you were young."

Usopp slowed down. "...Touche..."

"DON'T LET HIM GET TO YOU!!" Nami flared.

Usopp turned to Nami. "Nono... he has a point.  That stuff happened.  I don't judge my father any less for what he did, and I support his dreams and his lifestyle."

Chapere then glanced at Nami. "As for you... you were adopted.  Ooo, how that hurts me so~!"

"F*CK OFF!!!" Nami flared.

Chapere turned to Luffy. "As for you-"

"Go ahead and mention Ace." Luffy said calmly. "I dare you to bring up the one person fans can't get over.  I DOUBLE DARE YOU, MOTHERF*CKER!!!"

"Oh~?" Chapere backed away. "Is that often done to create... drama...?  Does it feel right to do, and is yet clichéd?" He got uncomfortably close to Luffy. "...You like men..."

Instinctively, Luffy backed away. "WOAH!!  STAY BACL!!  BAD TOUCH!!  BAD TOUCH!!"

"You see, Luffy, this story is NOT like the others." Chapere said. "When the person writes words, he doesn't write what feels right, but rather what feels wrong..." He began stroking Luffy's right arm. "And let's be honest here... a REAL vice admiral would go all.. the... way..."

Luffy immediately broke free. "AUGH!!" He panted heavily, and convulsed in agony. "Ugh...  I felt... violated..."

"COME ON, LUFFY!!  TAKE THIS CREEP DOWN!!" Sanji yelled from the back.

"RIGHT AHEAD OF YOU!!" Luffy stretched his arm back. "GUM GUM PISTOL!!"

Taking on the full punch in injury, Chapere replied, "Ooo~!  Now that feels good~!"

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Luffy asked in horror. "JUST MENTION ACE AND ACT LIKE A DOUCHE BAG SO I CAN GET THIS OVER WITH!!"

Chapere merely glanced at Luffy. "...Really..."

Luffy paused. "Well, don't ACTAULLY do that."

"Alas, I cannot forget the circumstances of the Whitebeard War..." Chapere replied. "So many lives were lost... including my dearest wife..." He sighed. "Alas, I have eased my regrets."

Luffy stopped his rampage. "Wait, you were there?"

"Ah yes..." Chapere replied. "My wife was a bright flame that ignited my world, bringing everything to a new passionate view!  But... it was also by fire that she died... gun fire." He turned to Luffy. "The fans may not always realize this, but you weren't the only person to have lost a life in that war.  I empathize with you.  I know the feeling all too well."

"THEN WHY WERE YOU FEELING ME?!" Luffy asked.

Chapere replied, "Come now, monsieur.  In a true war, there IS no victory or defeat: only survivors.  It is Hell on Earth.  It is foolish to only feel sympathy for one victim in a war loaded with them.  That is why I will not mock Fire Fist Ace's passing.  Most vice admirals would not dare to mock those who passed away.  Alas, our plight is lost to the words of other fan fictions out there."

Luffy was now calm. "I can see now that you aren't exactly a bad person.  But I think you need to apologize to Nami and Usopp first."

Chapere bowed down to the Straw Hats in question. "Forgive me for earlier."

Nami sighed. "It's fine... just don't do that again."

"I forgive you." Usopp said.

Chapere walked out of the way of the door way. "Now, it is time for you to resume your experience in this Hellverse. Proceed."

"Thanks, dude." Sanji said.

"WE'RE OFF!!" Luffy ran ahead.

...

"Brr... it's cold..." Nami was now shivering.

"Shoulda grabbed a coat." Zoro quipped.

"Shove it, Zoro." Nami said.

The Straw Hats were now in the cold storage of the prision. "What kind of place IS this?" Luffy asked.

(A/N: I just said it was cold storage.)

"...Okay, sarcasm wasn't needed." Luffy replied.

"YOU KNOW WHAT IS?"

Usopp asked, "Wait... did THEY come to THIS story...?"

"NYEH HEH HEH!" Papyrus stepped out from behind a fridge. "I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE NOTICED A DISTINCT LACK OF PAPYRUS IN THIS STORY.  THOUGHT I'D COME OVER AND FIX THAT."

Zoro facepalmed. "Oh no... God dammit... next thing you're gonna tell me is that the shorter skeleton guy is right around the corner."

"OH NO, SANS IS ATTENDING A NEARBY CHECKPOINT." Papyrus answered.

Robin spoke up. "So you decided to join us."

"BINGO!" Papyrus replied. "BY THE WAY, DO YOU LIKE YOUR GIFT?"

Robin smiled. "Why yes I do.  I have it in a neat corner, so I can look at it every now and then."

Papyrus had a goofy smle. "OH, YOU!"

"Well come along, then!" Luffy said. "I'm sure we could use a bone thrower for help!"

Papyrus saluted. "I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, SHALL NOT LET YOU DOWN!"

Zoro asked, "So should we end the chapter off right here, or should we try and keep it going?"

Nami replied, "Let's wait a little longer." Suddenly, an exclamation mark appeared over her head. "Uh-oh."

A Froggit appeared!

"A-Ah shit!  What do I do, guys?" Nami asked.

"Don't kill the frog-looking creature!" Usopp answered. "Instead, avoid it's attacks, compliment it, and try sparing it!"

"How is THAT supposed to work?!" Nami asked.

"Just trust me on this!" Usopp replied.

Nami turned to the Froggit. "Uh... you look cute... eh..."

The Froggit blushed slightly. "Ribbit~!" It tried leaping towards Nami.

"Jeez, it's fast!" Nami jumped out of the way. "Now then... what should I do?"

"Try sparing it!" Luffy replied.

The Froggit looked at Nami, quite content with itself.

Nami sighed. "Alright, scram.  Have a good day."

The Froggit jumped away.  It dropped some Berris.

"Don't mind if I do!" Nami picked up the dropped gold. "10 Berris, eh?  Today is a good day."

"YOU JUST WENT THROUGH AN UNDERTALE BATTLE." Papyrus said. "THERE, YOU CAN EITHER KILL MONSTERS, OR SPARE THEM.  THE ENDING OF THE GAME CHANGES GREATLY DEPENDING ON WHAT YOU DO."

Luffy saud, "Well then Pacifist FTW."

"We've been playing too much videogames." Zoro said.

Luffy shrugged. "Eh.  Games help with the references, and that's good enough for me."

Robin pointed ahead. "Well how about that?"

Ahead of the Straw Hats was a tall metal fence.  A sentry tower was placed closed to the middle of the fence. "Alright pirates, you think you're bad enough dudes to save the president?  You think you can take this prison on?  Then bring it on."

Luffy took a stance. "You got it, dude!"

To Be Continues...