Candy Isn't Worth It: Luffy Edition

Candy Isn't Worth It: Luffy Edition

The Thousand Sunny, home to the Straw Hat Pirates, but you already knew that.  It was October, the month that led up to Halloween.  Considering how he and his crew tried on their costumes since early September, he was still looking for way to prepare for Halloween.

Bored and always looking for something to do, Luffy went around to find something to preoccupy himself...and he soon found it in the kitchen: a large glass bowl, filled to the brim with all kinds of candy. Lollipops, gummy worms, chocolate bars, and other various treats.  Considering that Luffy was in the New World, he immediately tensed up. "Okay, who put the candy in here?"

I did," Sanji answered as he walked by. "I bought some at the last island we were at."

"Oh, well that's okay then," Luffy said.  Suddenly, he asked, "Wait, since when did you find time to buy candy at Dressrosa?"

"I didn't..." Sanji replied, looking down. "Zou is... insane..."

Not wanting to press that subject, Luffy sighed. "Sorry about tensing up, but considering Big Mom and her love of candy... yeah..."

"Right," Sanji said. "I hear ya."

Restraining himself, Luffy asked, "So what's all this candy for?"

"Halloween," Sanji answered. "You never know. We might dock at an island, some kids might want candy."

"...You think that candy will last by then?" Luffy asked. "Sounds like a waste to me."

"Who knows?  Probably." Sanji replied. "Look, Luffy, I know that you're planning on eating some of the candy later.  What I want to know is why."

Luffy sighed. "Am I THAT predictable?"

"Yes," Sanji answered.

"I was thinking I'd practice eating candy for Halloween," Luffy said.

"...That makes no sense," Sanji said.

"Sure it does," Luffy answered. "If I eat candy now, that'll make me hungrier for more candy on Halloween!"

Like I said, that makes no sense," Sanji said. "Then again, I hardly understand half the things you do around here."

Luffy grinned at this.

Then Sanji admitted, "Well, then again... you did have a good point back in September when you had us all wear Halloween costumes early.  Seriously, Austin Powers for the win."

"See?" Luffy said. "I know what I'm doing."

"All right, Luffy," Sanji said. "Do what you wanna do, I suppose."

Before Sanji stepped out, he added, "Let's see if you'll still have room for meat when I get dinner ready." Sanji had left the kitchen.

Luffy scoffed before he looked at the bowl and licked his lips hungrily, his stomach beginning to make noises.  However, what Sanji said rang in his mind. "God... dammit... do I choose meat, or candy?"

He sighed as he sat at the table, crossing his arms to think.

"Well, meat is pretty tasty," he said. "Then again, candy is pretty good, too."

Of course, he then thought, If I eat meat like always, I'll be in top shape, but run the risk of having a certain Emperor hound us down.  If I eat the candy, though, I'll be without that risk, but I'd essentially do another risk instead.  Who knows how I'd end up after eating this much candy?

He then sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"...Maybe," he started, "I'll just eat one little piece."

And so, he ate a piece.  It was a chocolate bar...and it seem to melt in his mouth instantly as he chewed it.

"Mmm..." he hummed pleasantly. "Yummy!"

Of course, the flavor increased in succulence the more he chewed. "Oh... such wonderous flavors flow through my mouth as I chew... yum..."

Then, he swallowed it.

"Mmm...that was good," he said, "but now that I've tasted it, I want more."

He then looked down at the candy in the bowl.

He tried to restrain himself. Luffy, you told yourself only one piece.  Do NOT go further.

But alas, a massive growling could be heard from Luffy's stomach. "Again, I could have done golfing instead..."

He then sighed as he looked down at the bowl of candy again.

"...Okay, just one more piece," he said. "I can have a few more after dinner."

So, he took a bite out of sea salt taffy.  With something with the word "salt" in it, Luffy would think it wouldn't taste very sweet, but the moment it hit his tongue, that was a whole different story.

Of course, as it should be known, sea salt taffy was a treat everyone, from sailors to pirates, indulged in at the sea and sea alone, and with others.  Naturally, several of the other Straw Hats came in.

"Is that sea salt taffy?" Zoro asked. "Haven't had some of that in a while."

"Well it's taffy time, so..." Luffy unwrapped one taffy.

Can I have one?" Chopper asked as he reached for the bowl, only for Luffy to snatch the bowl away from the little reindeer and growl like a mad dog. "AAH!! Never mind!!!"

"Luffy!" Nami exclaimed in surprise.

"Jeez, man!" Usopp cried. "We know you get a little greedy with food, but come on! No need to act like an animal!"

Luffy, however, paused them. "The reason I pulled them away from you guys is not because I was greedy, but rather, this is taffy, and not a treat we should all be rushing forward to get.  I had to do the whole dog growl in order to get my point across."

After a pause, Nami said, "Well, he has a point.  Sharing the taffy is good and all, but we should be civil about it."

"Sorry, Chopper," Luffy said before he held out the bowl. "Here"

"Thank you," Chopper said as he reaches his little hoof into the bowl and gets himself a piece.  Chopper added, "Also, sorry about just rushing into the candy like that.  This isn't your typical candy: it's a sea treat."

Luffy replied, "Forget about it.  Water under the bridge."

He then held out the bowl for the others.

"Anyone else want any?" Luffy asked.

"Actually, I think I'll wait until Halloween comes around," Usopp said.

"Yeah, me, too," Zoro said.

"By the way," Nami starts, "how come you're sitting in here with the candy?"

"Because reasons." Luffy answered.

Zoro grabbed for some taffy. "Actually... I think I will have some... since it's sea salt taffy and all."

He then handed a piece to Usopp and Nami before going out, eating his own piece as he did.

"Mmm...that's good," the swordsman said.

"Luffy...you're not planning on eating all that candy, are you?" Nami asked.

"Psh!" Luffy scoffed. "No. I only had like 2 pieces. I can stop anytime I want."

"Last time you said that, it was 3 months ago," Usopp deadpanned, "and we were sailing for 4 days without food."

"Hey, that was on JORA!" Luffy countered. "I had NO idea anyone would store all the food somewhere else!"

"Oh, please," Usopp muttered.

"Believe it or not, I have to agree with Luffy here." Zoro said.

"Thank you, Zoro," Luffy said.

After a pause, Nami said, "Ah, screw it.  Eat the candy.  See if I care.  It just means more dinner for us." With that, Nami left in a wide grin.  The others soon followed.

Luffy shrugged before he rummaged his hand through the bowl, trying to see what other sweets he could eat.  All the while, that thought popped back up in his head again. You know what this will do for your appetite, right?

"Uh...maybe I'll just stick with the two pieces," Luffy muttered to himself, preparing to put the bowl back on the table...until his stomach gave him its two cents with a long, hard growl.

"Well maybe I don't WANT to snack before dinner." Luffy told his stomach.

His stomach only responded by making a very forceful rumble.

"Okay, okay! Quit that!" Luffy cried. "Sheesh! You're more trouble than you're worth, you know that?!"

His stomach growled a bit.

"Huh...you do have a point," Luffy said. "It's true that you do stretch when I eat a lot, so I guess it does take you a while to get full...so even if I do eat most of this candy, I'll probably still have room for dinner."

Luffy then caught himself. "You know what?  Not happening.  For once, I'm gonna wait!"

The stomach replied with yet another rumble.

"Alright, FINE!!  You win!" Luffy walked over to the bowl of other candies.

His stomach seemed to make a sound that was like purring, as if showing gratitude.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Luffy said. "If I miss dinner because of this, I know who I'm gonna blame."

Luffy took a bite out of a peanut butter cup treat.  Again, he found his taste buds pleasured by the saltiness of the peanut butter and the sweetness of the chocolate.

"Pretty good stuff here..." Luffy said.

His stomach growled, as if to say "I told you so". Luffy chose to ignore it, though, and continued to indulge himself in eating the sweet candies.

So far, the peanut butter cup was his third piece of candy...but about maybe 20 minutes later, the bowl was nearly empty, and as for Luffy...well, he was sitting on the floor, his back up against the wall, his tongue hanging out of his mouth in a sickly manner, chocolate smearing his lips, fingers, and his abdominal area, and his stomach itself making a very unpleasant gurgling, thus causing Luffy to moan, too.

In other words, Luffy was stuffed.

"Oh, man..." Luffy said, in pain. "Take that, you stupid b*tch of a stomach..."

His stomach only groaned in response.

"You're not sorry," Luffy said.

"Well, what have we here?" asks the familiar voice of Sanji, prompting Luffy to look up and see not just the cook, but the rest of the Straw Hats.

"Well, someone seems to have himself a little field day," Robin quips, her usual sly smile on her face.

"Luffy, you don't look so good," Chopper said, seemingly the only one showing any concern.

Well, Luffy thought he was seeing the rest of the Straw Hats, but it was really just those three upon closer inspection.

"Ugh... give me a break already..." Luffy moaned.

Robin asked, "There wouldn't happen to be more taffy left, would there?"

Luffy replied bluntly, "I'm a hungry pirate, not an asshole.  Of course I didn't touch the sea salt taffy."

Sanji immediately flared up. "WOAH, DUDE!!  EASY AROUND THE LADIES!!"

Robin merely grinned. "Looks like you are a pirate worth your weight after all."

Luffy smiled and chuckled a bit, but his laughter was soon replaced by pained moaning.

"Eat these." Chopper handed Luffy a few pills.

"What are they?" Luffy asked.

"They're antacids." Chopper explained, "They're designed to help neutralize the stomach acids inside your body, and thus help your stomach feel better."

"I'm glad ONE of you guys is looking out for my wellbeing." Luffy said while he was looking at Sanji and Robin

"Sorry, captain," Robin apologized.

"It's okay," Luffy said. "I'm not mad...just very stuffed."

"Too stuffed for the roast pork I'm making?" Sanji inquired.

"Sadly, yes..." Luffy replied.  He looked up, and sighed. "Believe it or not, I've been contemplating eating that candy ever since I've seen it littered in this kitchen.  Imagine if Big Mom came here..."

"We'd be pretty screwed, huh?" Sanji asked.

"Way screwed," Luffy added.

After that, they bursted out laughing, until Luffy's stomach pains stopped him. "Ah... but seriously.  I have Gear 4.  What does SHE have?"

"Who knows?" Sanji asked.

Luffy then ate the pills Chopper gave to him. "Thanks, Chopper," he said. "I appreciate it."

"No problem," Chopper smiles.

"Maybe you'd also like to have yourself a little nap, Luffy," Robin suggested, giving him that motherly smile.

"Before that, I have this to say:" Luffy said, "Candy isn't worth it.  At all."

He then prodded a finger against his belly while looking at it sternly.

"You hear me, in there?" he asked his stomach.

The stomach said nothing.

"That's better." Luffy said with a smile.

Robin then helped Luffy to his feet, and Luffy headed off to the Men's Quarters, flopped down in his bunk, and fell fast asleep before he even knew it.

Back at the kitchen, Sanji said, "Well, Luffy might be on to something for practicing certain Halloween things early."

"Huh?" Chopper muttered, confused. "What do you mean?"

"Remember the early costume wearing?" Sanji asked.

"Oh, yeah!" Chopper said. "That was a lot of fun!"

Robin spoke up. "That was proof that we knew what we were doing with our costumes.  Then, today, we've learned about the candies NOT to buy or eat.  Maybe then, the captain might not get sick too often."

"I agree," Sanji said.

"But," Chopper added, "that's not the point.  The point is that Luffy knew what he was doing, and that we shouldn't judge him any less for it."

"True," Sanji concurred.

"Anyways," Robin spoke up, "We have to properly prepare ourselves for this Halloween.  Judging that this is the New World, Marines could easily ambush us at any moment, which is why Franky and Usopp put that much effort into making my costume."

"You mean it actually has weapons?!" Chopper asked with sparkling eyes.

After a pause, Robin answered, "Yes."

"We have to keep our guard up now." Sanji said. "We're past Dressrosa, and are now in official Hell.  No matter how strong we think we are, we cannot, under any circumstance, slip up once." After a pause, Sanji said, "Some of that candy was laced.  Otherwise, why else would Luffy react the way he did?"

"Laced?!" Chopper questioned in shock.

"In other words, poisoned." Sanji confirmed. "If it were anyone else, we would have been been screwed over big time, and then probably have died in a few days.  However, Luffy doesn't work that way.  Lest we forget he's immune to every poison ever now."

Robin then looked at the taffy bowl. "I guess we should be fortunate that sea salt taffy is cooked up with more trustworthy candy makers, then." After a pause, she said, "You two should get some rest now.  I'll hold nightwatch duties."

"Thanks, Robin," Chopper said.

"No problem." Robin replied. "Now you two get some rest now."

With that, the boys walked out.

And so, Robin stood guard of the ship, willing to take out anyone who would go so far as to try to harm some of her crew mates.

To Be Continued...